Yesterday I read a lot of posts from people on the Mercy Ship writing about Selection Day–a day where they tell as many people as possible ‘Yes’ and an alarmingly huge number of people ‘No.’
I don’t get all in fits of “eek, eek, how could you live in Africa? On a ship?” But I can’t possibly imagine how a human could survive crushing so many people in one day, saying “no” over and over and over again. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t. I would break down half-way through the day–sooner, more likely–and abandon my post in tears and someone else would have to take over for me.
It bothers me a lot.
I went to bed last night thinking about it. I finally blurted out, “God, how can You say no? All those people–and so many turned away because there was no more time, and You knew that and You let them stand in lines for hours with hope You knew wouldn’t be filled. How can You say no?”
“I don’t say No, I say Yes,” was blurted back into my mind.
I don’t understand.
What is better than that? Why was it allowed for some of them and not for others? It sure looks like You say Yes and No. They say there’s no partiality with You, but then, what is this?
The truth is that God’s will is best. The truth is that He alone knows what best is. The truth is that He is a loving God, and looks down on His creation with mercy–mercy enough He sacrificed His own son, made the Innocent One tormented for guilt not His own. The truth is He is right, and true, and consistent.
But it doesn’t look like it, and if that’s not faith, I don’t know what is.