So I got my first clinical where I want it to be. I didn’t really expect that I wouldn’t, since our class pow-wow showed that there really wasn’t any competition for the place I wanted to go, but it feels better to have it settled.

We’ve known for quite some time that March was going to be when the rubber really hit the road, and it is not disappointing our expectations. Not that we were exactly looking forward to back to back tests all month long; but I at least was bracing for it. It quickly gets to the point where you find yourself running over to-do lists and deadlines, trying not to loose track of things.

We also all said that this was probably going to be the semester where we were just happy to pass, and let go of our drive for “only A’s” in favor of just escaping with our hide intact. I’m trying to hang on to it for as long as I can. . .but I can see myself rapidly getting fed up with trying for the A in pathology class or simply not having the time to study properly for bio, or flat out FORGETTING first aid class, seeing as it is only once a week.

The material is not confusing (at least yet, too much. Neuro is trying to get tricky); but we’ve already had more student tears this semester than we did last semester. This pass/fail practical stuff is just brutal on our emotions, guys and girls alike.

There is so much I “could” be doing. . .but after a certain point, it feels like my brain reaches critical mass. At the same time, I know that if I do not go over bio lab stuff TONIGHT, I will not do as well on the lab quiz tomorrow; there will be no time tomorrow to study, because it will be back to back classes from 8 till 5.

It’s something like walking on the knife-edge of balance for so many things. . .the sleep you know you need to learn and recall properly, the down-time necessary for a brain to decompress and be prepared to absorb once more; The sheer number of classes and exams begging study time; the desire to do as well as possible against the desire to maintain sanity. We say to ourselves “one day at a time, one day at a time”. . .but that’s a little false; our eyes must always be on the next day and what we must do to be ready for it. It’s exhausting.

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